He entered the room for the fourth time in as many weeks. Seated in her usual chair, was his therapist counsellor who waited for him to remove his coat and make himself comfortable on the seat opposite her.
She looked up from her paperwork and smiled.
“Well, how are you today?”
The week before she had given him some homework. During the last session, it had come to light that he had lost a hold of who he was. Oh, I don’t mean that he had suffered a sudden attack of amnesia. No. He had lost an awareness of his strengths, weaknesses and talents. You see, the effects of bullying had made him question his abilities. It had gradually stripped away every aspect of confidence that he had built up over the years. It had changed him into a person he no longer recognized; nervous, unsure, anxious. He wasn’t like this before the bullying and it scared him.
At work, he had suffered months of his colleagues questioning and criticising his work and decisions. They had laughed at him and found fault with the work that was previously considered by all to be of a high standard. They had consistently undermined the things he said or did. His confidence had dwindled so much that he didn’t know what to do to coax it back to where he felt comfortable again.
He knew he needed help and in the back of his mind he wondered why he had left it so long.
The problem of workplace bullying is growing at a large and substantial rate. According to a recent article by Agency Central (an organisation that suggests recruitment agencies to companies) 3 in 10 people in the UK have been a victim of bullying in the workplace. In addition, the large organisation ACAS, which deals with advice to help callers about concerns regarding employment law, reported that in 2005 they received 20,000 enquiries about bullying behaviour at work. This trend has continued at the same level ever since. In fact, the amount of people estimated to be victims of workplace bullying, equates to 9.3 million in the UK. That’s a lot of people!
In my last article, we looked at how to identify the signs that help to determine whether someone is a victim of bullying in the workplace. So, in part 2 we are going to talk about what a person can do to lessen, and in some cases eradicate, the effects of this type of behaviour.
I sincerely wish there was a magical super pill that you could take when experiencing bullying. You could take it every few hours or so until the bullying ceases. Wouldn't that be great?! But unfortunately, it’s not that simple. To overcome and stave off the effects of bullying can be quite a heavy and emotionally draining task for the person experiencing bullying.
But there are things that you can do to help yourself. So, let's take a look at some of the strategies you can employ to limit and nullify some of it's effects.
Family life is an accessible website that provides help for those who are experiencing bullying. It gives guidance for sufferers relating to solutions ranging from keeping a diary of the bullying events, to activities you can do to make sure that your physical health does not suffer. Please access the link below for a more comprehensive list of actions.
Experience can be an excellent teacher. So in looking back at some of the dealings I have had with people that have been bullied, I have seen first hand some of the do's and don'ts of coping with this problem. One person I remember, tried to continue working in the toxic environment she found herself in. She believed that if she simply concentrated on her work, that the person who was bullying her would simply lose interest and leave her alone. But in fact the opposite happened and she experienced more attacks from the individual. Her emotional health began to suffer. Eventually, presenting symptoms of increased anxiety, depression and exhaustion (due to her being unable to sleep at night). She ended up taking sick leave from work for several months. The sick notes were provided by a very supportive GP. Her decision to take sick leave gave her thinking time to consider her options.
Should she look for another job? Did she have enough stamina to go through her company's rigorous complaint procedure? Take your time to consider what is the best option for you.
In fact, just doing something about the situation, even if that involves going through the organisation's complaint procedure, can improve your emotional well-being as you lose the feeling of helplessness. A warning about doing this! Please, ensure that you have some type of support from either those inside and/or outside the organisation as taking this option can be very emotionally taxing. Tell a supportive friend or a work colleague what is happening. Perhaps, your colleague can sit in on some of the meetings regarding your complaint. If you are a member of a Union, contact them and elicit their help as they are used to dealing with these type of issues. Perhaps, ask your GP to see a counsellor who is likely to help you with some of the side effects of bullying such as low self esteem, lack of confidence and identity. But get as much support as you feel you need.
Employers Be Aware
If you are reading this and you are an employer or someone who is in a responsible position in your organisation, please take the time to click on the link below and read this article. This offers concrete suggestions that a company might put in place to stop or limit this type of destructive behaviour in the workplace.
My hope, is that this article can give you a basic sense of some of the options that you have available to you if you are a victim of bullying. I hope it helps to begin the process of healing that you need to survive what can be a very damaging and life altering experience.
Article written by Alberta Gibbs
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